125+ Best Engagement Puns to Make the Engagement Hilarious 

The exchanging of rings between two soulmates marks the culmination of the custom of proposing marriage. Through the ages, there have always been various symbolic representations of engagement ceremonies.

The cavemen made their proposal by braiding grass strands and tying them around the woman’s neck, ankle, or leg.

Funny Engagement Puns

Q: Why shouldn’t you tie the knot early?
A: You never know who you’ll run into that evening.

Q: What are the four most crucial words for a happy marriage?
A: “I’ll do the dishes.”

Q: How does a marriage work?
A: The husband works, and the wife shops.

Q: Why do married folks tend to outlive the unmarried?
A: They make an extra effort to outlive their spouse to have the last word.

Q: Why should you never try to impress a woman?
A: She’ll expect that standard for the rest of your life.

Q: What happened to the couple returning from their engagement photoshoot?
A: They were killed in a car accident and found themselves at the Pearly Gates.

Q: How did the hipster reject a proposal?
A: He claimed he was already booked for the event.

Q: What did she want in an engagement ring?
A: Something like you; cheap and round.

Q: How do relationships progress with rings?
A: Friendship, engagement, wedding, and then suffering.

Q: What’s a clever trick for Valentine’s Day as a restaurant employee?
A: Put a fake engagement ring in every girl’s drink.

Q: Why might Ohio change Mechanicsburg to Engagement?
A: It’s halfway between Dayton and Marion.

Q: What happened when two friends discussed a failed engagement?
A: One friend revealed the girl deemed him unworthy and is now his step-mom.

Q: What did a man think of a jewelry shop’s upgrade offer?
A: “Do you also offer plastic surgery?”

Q: How were the engagement and divorce similar?
A: Both ended in giving in.

Q: After the engagement ring and the wedding ring, what comes next?
A: The suffering.

Q: What’s common between a child molester and an engagement ring?
A: Both come in a tiny box.

Q: Why did the dog cough up the engagement ring?
A: It had a ruff diamond.

Q: Why can’t the man marry his fiancee?
A: His upcoming arranged marriage got in the way.

Engagement Puns

Q: What must an army officer know before marriage?
A: The rules of engagement.

Q: Why did the guy get himself an engagement ring?
A: He realized he couldn’t live without himself.

Q: Why hurry when making out with an overweight fiancée?
A: There’s an urgent engagement.

Q: Who is worse: a grave robber or a necrophile?
A: One gives a cold-blooded engagement ring; the other gets diseases.

Q: Why isn’t it called an engagement ring?
A: Why not a Kneel Diamond?

Q: What are the three rings in a marriage according to Grandpa?
A: Engagement, wedding, and suffering.

Q: How did a soldier retaliate when his SO broke up?
A: Sent multiple women’s photos and said he couldn’t remember which one she was.

Q: What did OJ Simpson’s marriage consist of?
A: Engagement, wedding, and a final goodbye.

Q: Why was the man late to his wedding?
A: He had a prior engagement.

Q: Why not buy an iPhone X?
A: Instead, buy an engagement ring which won’t be outdated in three years.

Q: What’s Facebook’s stance on engagement-bait posts?
A: They’re phasing them out.

Q: Where did little Toby go for his ring?
A: To Jareth!

Q: How are elegant women like turtles?
A: They stay put for a long time once they’ve settled.

Q: Why did the court mandate a man’s presence at a social event?
A: It was a court-ordered engagement.

Q: What did the guy present to his girlfriend?
A: A ring, but she slapped him. It was Au-struck.

Q: Did you hear the story of the two geologists’ engagement ending?
A: It was rocky from the start.

Q: What kind of ring reminded the man of truck tires?
A: His girlfriend’s engagement ring; she rode much smoother after getting it.

Q: What’s ticking around a wife’s neck?
A: The husband’s watch.

Q: Where do special needs folks get their wedding bands?
A: K Special.

Q: How does the Lord of the Rings affect college students’ grades?
A: They always hear, “You shall not pass.”

Q: What did the man mean by “a ring for when we get married”?
A: He didn’t specify it was his salary for the month.

Q: What’s the similarity between wedding rings and The One Ring?
A: Once you have it, your friends will never see you again.

Q: How did a woman realize she married the wrong man?
A: The wedding ring was on the wrong finger.

Q: What did the man think of when seeing a beautiful woman at a store?
A: “I lost my wife here.”

Q: What do engagements feel like?
A: An alarm clock waking you from a lovely dream.

Q: Why do husbands resemble lawnmowers?
A: Hard to start, smelly, and half-functional.

Q: What should you do before and after marriage with your eyes?
A: Keep them wide open before, half-closed after.

Q: Why did Cinderella have patience?
A: She believed, “My prints will come.”

Engagement Puns

Q: What is the penalty for bigamy?
A: Two mother-in-laws.

Q: What sacrifice did a man make to a homeless person?
A: His name, wallet, car, house, and wedding band.

Q: What did the teacher say about shooting ducks?
A: After shooting one, the others would fly away.

Q: How much did the torture gadget cost in a strange store?
A: It was a wedding ring.

Q: What was the result of trading places with a homeless man?
A: Feeling debt-free.

Q: Why does the engagement ring date matter?
A: It’s the best by date.

Q: What’s the sentiment when the husband gets another season of work?
A: Relief from the wife.

Q: How will the next 45 minutes of the groom’s speech be?
A: Seemingly the shortest in life while talking about the couple.

Q: Why did the geologist’s engagement fail?
A: They took too much for granite.

Q: What did the fiancée say when given a cheap engagement ring?
A: “Is this a semi-precious moment?”

Q: Why was the IT guy nervous about his engagement?
A: He was afraid of commitment… issues.

Q: What’s the best engagement advice for a pianist?
A: Don’t lose the key to her heart.

Q: How do coffee lovers celebrate their engagement?
A: They “espresso” their love.

Q: Why was the electrician’s engagement electrifying?
A: He gave her a current ring.

Q: Why did the botanist propose in the garden?
A: He wanted to plant the seed of love.

Q: What did the man say after buying a circular engagement ring?
A: “I hope our love comes full circle.”

Q: Why did the mathematician use a circle for his engagement ring?
A: Because love is endless.

Q: What did the calculator say to the pencil on their engagement?
A: “Together, we add up.”

Q: Why was the chef’s engagement so spicy?
A: He proposed with a ring of fire chili.

Q: What did the ocean say during its engagement?
A: “Sea-l you at the altar!”

Q: Why did the astronaut propose in space?
A: He wanted their love to be out of this world.

Q: What did the snowman say about his engagement?
A: “I’m melting with love.”

Q: Why was the vampire’s engagement so passionate?
A: Because every bite meant love.

Engagement Puns

Q: What did the owl say about his engagement?
A: “Owl always love you!”

Q: Why was the cat skeptical about the engagement?
A: She thought it was purr-posturous.

Q: What did the traffic light say about the car’s engagement?
A: “I’m turning green with envy.”

Q: Why did the bicycle stand on its own at its engagement?
A: It was two-tired.

Q: How did the two socks celebrate their engagement?
A: They had a ball.

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: “You may have graduated, but I’ve got the degrees.”

Q: Why did the tomato turn red during its engagement?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q: What did the paper say to the pencil during their engagement?
A: “Write on!”

Q: Why was the belt arrested at its engagement?
A: It was holding up a pair of pants.

Q: How did the telephone propose to its partner?
A: “Give me a ring sometime.”

Q: Why did the calendar propose in February?
A: It had a date in mind.

Q: How did the computer feel after its engagement?
A: It felt a byte more connected.

Q: Why was the broom late to its engagement?
A: It was swept off its feet.

Q: How did the egg propose to the frying pan?
A: “I’m egg-cited to spend my life with you!”

Q: Why did the shoe hesitate about the engagement?
A: It was afraid of getting tied down.

Q: Why was the engagement of the two antennas so remarkable?
A: The ceremony was average, but the reception was excellent.

Q: Why did the farmer propose in the field?
A: He wanted to grow old with her.

Q: Why did the photographer’s engagement feel so picture-perfect?
A: Because every snapshot was a moment to remember.

Q: What did the fish say at its engagement?
A: “I’m hooked!”

Q: Why was the battery’s engagement so energetic?
A: It found its positive match.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope during their engagement?
A: “Stick with me, and we’ll go places!”

Q: Why did the baker propose with a donut?
A: He wanted to say, “I doughnut want to live without you.”

Q: How did the light bulb feel about its engagement?
A: Absolutely glowing!

Q: What did the tree say during its engagement?
A: “Leaf all your worries behind, we’re branching out together!”

Q: Why was the musician’s engagement note-worthy?
A: Because it struck a chord with everyone.

Q: How did the train propose to the carriage?
A: “Will you be my track for life?”

Q: Why did the scarecrow win an engagement award?
A: He was outstanding in his field.

Q: Why did the scientist use a lab report for his engagement proposal?
A: He wanted to show the chemistry between them.

Q: What did the grape say during its engagement toast?
A: “Let’s wine down and celebrate our love!”

Q: Why was the bee’s engagement buzzing with excitement?
A: It was none other than Queen Bee he was proposing to!

Q: Why was the football player’s engagement so dramatic?
A: He took a knee!

Engagement Puns

Diving into “Engagement Puns” has been a sparkling spree! Did they ring true to your funny bone or have you saying “I do” to more chuckles?

Share your sentiments with us. Your insights help our humor shine bright like a diamond, ensuring every pun feels like a gem! 💍

More To Explore:

Was this article helpful?

Join our active Facebook group for creative and fun activities, games, and other child development ideas.

Leave a Comment