108+ Funny Nurse Puns That Will Get You Injected With Laughter!

Nursing👩🏻‍⚕️ is a very demanding profession. But occasionally, a funny nurse pun works exactly like medicine!

Nurse puns inject doses of laughter and positivity into the medical🏥 world. They’re the perfect prescription for a brighter day, with wordplay that’s as healing as a warm smile from a nurse.

Whether you’re poking fun at “bad veins” or “medication mishaps,” nurse puns offer a lighthearted💗 way to appreciate the dedication and care nurses provide.

We hope you appreciate the funniest🤣 compilation of nurse puns! Let’s get injected, then!

Funny Nurse Puns

Q: Why are nurses frightened of nature?
A: IV, too much poison.

Q: What would an angry nurse say to an irritating patient?
A: “I’m hired to poke people with incredibly sharp objects, so don’t mess with me.”

Q: What motivates a nurse to operate at warp speed?
A: A wakeup call in bed or hot coffee in the break room.

Q: Do you know what a wood frog and a nurse have in common?
A: Both of them have extremely extended bladder-holding capacities.

Q: What does it mean when someone says you are out?
A: Urine.

Q: When boats get sick, where do they go?
A: On the dock.

Q: How should a stress ball be applied?
A: The last person to enrage you, throw it at them.

Q: Why was the nurse perceived by the patient as a curtain?
A: Because she could be seen gathering herself.

Q: Why was the nurse acting so tensely?
A: Because it was his first shot in a hospital.

Q: What did the nurse’s pillow say to her?
A: “I need assistance; I’m stuffed.”

Q: Why do nurses always carry a red pen?
A: In case they need to draw blood.

Q: What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music?
A: Heavy metal.

Q: What do you call a nurse who sleeps on the job?
A: A night nurse.

Q: What does a nurse say before giving you an injection?
A: “This won’t hurt a bit.”

Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
A: Because she heard the patient was on the second floor.

Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: “Some jackass stole my pen!”

Q: How does a nurse start her day?
A: With an IV.

Q: Why did the nurse go to art school?
A: To learn how to take blood.

Q: What do you call a nurse who steals bedpans?
A: A little potty.

Q: How do nurses communicate during surgery?
A: They use their patient-ial instincts.

Q: Why did the nurse carry a red magic marker to work?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: What’s a nurse’s favorite instrument?
A: The IV-olin.

Q: What do you call a nurse who fixes websites?
A: A “URLologist.”

Nurse Puns

Q: Why don’t nurses trust stairs?
A: Because they’re always up to something.

Q: How do you know when a nurse is having a bad day?
A: She keeps teasing people with needles.

Q: Why did the nurse go to anger management class?
A: Because she kept losing her patients.

Q: What did the nurse say when she saw the doctor walking down the hall?
A: “I thought I smelled something funny.”

Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None; just a nursing student is enough.

Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
A: Because she heard the patient was on the second floor.

Q: Why did the nurse become a gardener?
A: Because she wanted to help people “grow.”

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it. (Nurses love a good dance!)

Q: What do you call a nurse who fixes websites?
A: A “URLologist.”

Q: What do you call a nurse who steals bedpans?
A: A little potty.

Q: Why did the nurse go to anger management class?
A: Because she kept losing her patients.

Q: What did the nurse say when she saw the doctor walking down the hall?
A: “I thought I smelled something funny.”

Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None; just a nursing student is enough.

Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
A: Because she heard the patient was on the second floor.

Q: Why did the nurse become a gardener?
A: Because she wanted to help people “grow.”

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it. (Nurses love a good dance!)

Q: Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the freezer?
A: She wanted to give her patients a chilling experience.

Q: Why was the nurse always calm under pressure?
A: Because she had a lot of patients.

Q: Why don’t nurses ever get lost?
A: Because they always follow the chart.

Q: How do nurses stay organized?
A: They take notes on their “patient-ial” pads.

Q: What did the nurse say to the patient with amnesia?
A: “You won’t remember this, but you owe me a million dollars.”

Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
A: In case she needed to check the patient’s chart on the top shelf.

Q: How do you know if a nurse is on vacation?
A: The patient’s call button keeps ringing.

Nurse Puns

Q: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: Why did the nurse carry a pencil behind her ear?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: Why did the nurse always carry a red marker?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: How did the nurse get so many wrinkles?
A: She kept folding the patient’s chart.

Q: Why did the nurse become a gardener?
A: Because she wanted to help people “grow.”

Q: Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the freezer?
A: She wanted to give her patients a chilling experience.

Q: Why was the nurse always calm under pressure?
A: Because she had a lot of patients.

Q: Why don’t nurses ever get lost?
A: Because they always follow the chart.

Q: How do nurses stay organized?
A: They take notes on their “patient-ial” pads.

Q: What did the nurse say to the patient with amnesia?
A: “You won’t remember this, but you owe me a million dollars.”

Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
A: In case she needed to check the patient’s chart on the top shelf.

Q: How do you know if a nurse is on vacation?
A: The patient’s call button keeps ringing.

Q: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: Why did the nurse carry a pencil behind her ear?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: Why did the nurse always carry a red marker?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: How did the nurse get so many wrinkles?
A: She kept folding the patient’s chart.

Q: Why did the nurse become a gardener?
A: Because she wanted to help people “grow.”

Q: Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the freezer?
A: She wanted to give her patients a chilling experience.

Q: Why was the nurse always calm under pressure?
A: Because she had a lot of patients.

Q: Why don’t nurses ever get lost?
A: Because they always follow the chart.

Q: How do nurses stay organized?
A: They take notes on their “patient-ial” pads.

Q: What did the nurse say to the patient with amnesia?
A: “You won’t remember this, but you owe me a million dollars.”

Q: Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work?
A: In case she needed to check the patient’s chart on the top shelf.

Q: How do you know if a nurse is on vacation?
A: The patient’s call button keeps ringing.

Q: Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: Why did the nurse carry a pencil behind her ear?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: Why did the nurse always carry a red marker?
A: In case she needed to draw blood.

Q: How did the nurse get so many wrinkles?
A: She kept folding the patient’s chart.

Nurse Puns

Exploring “Nurse puns” has been a healthy dose of humor! Did these puns give you a check-up from the neck-up or make you smile like a well-rested patient?

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Your feedback helps us keep the laughter flowing like a soothing IV drip! 💉

More To Explore:

Was this article helpful?

Join our active Facebook group for creative and fun activities, games, and other child development ideas.